Monday, September 15, 2008

loving... in silence

it has been quite a while since i last post a blog in my page. for the past few weeks had been a hell season for me because of a lot of works to finish especially the seoul events. and maybe because i got a little disappointed because until now, i do not know how my blogs will be accepted in the payperblog site... grrr!!!

my trip to seoul was tiring yet enjoyable... sitting in the grass of seoul plaza right in the middle of the busy city gave me sometime to think and assess some aspects in me. how i wish im with my close friend now whom i can share what im feeling and thinking right now. as of the moment, my only confidante is my blog page...writing this may be a suicide but its the only way i can somehow unleash the confusion that im experiencing at this very moment.

it should not happen, i know its not right.. but yes, i think im falling for someone whom i think i should not fall with in the first place... being with him has never been a dull moment for me however, being with him also is difficult because of practical/obvious reasons...

as much as i want to say how much i miss him, i just can't because i have to keep the line between us otherwise, i may end up hurting. i tried to fight against it, but everytime i do, i just miss him more and more...

i try not to know more about his personal life because it would only add to my heavy feeling or maybe im just to coward to face the truth about him...

i love him in silence... for in silence there's no expectations, no rejections, and most especially, no other person is hurt...

where we are right now, nobody knows. i don't want to ask because it might complicate what we both enjoy right now. how long will i love him in silence... i don't know.

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