about a man

it sometimes annoys me when the my friends and family would push me to find a nice guy.. get married.. and have kids. yes, i know im not getting any younger and since im an only child, i need to have atleast two children to continue my tribe.however, i think i should not look for it... i still believe that the right man for me will come in due time... but the big question is... when?!

as i was walking on my home a while ago, i sudden felt something is missing in me... on sunday, another year will add to my age... that means another year will be subtracted to my chance of being young... it has been years since i felt excited having a date during my birthday or maybe my previous birthday dates were not really meant to be birthday dates...

but what confuses me most is that i really do not feel the need of having someone right now.... yes, i get lonely at times but when someone potential is already in front of me.. that longingness suddenly disappear.... weird, or even scary, as it may seem but the more i clearly see my career path, the narrower my desire to end up with someone.

am i naive?frigid or what? i guess im not because i get fascinated to guys too... maybe i did already find the guy for me but i chose to pursue my career... or maybe he is just around the corner waiting for the right time to be with me... or maybe we still have not crossed our paths yet... or maybe its not just my time yet...

back to my reflections while walking along the streets of bell road and honchodori... i asked myself, what do i real look for in a man... after a fews thoughts, not a single word crossed my mind...

as i open my door, i just give a long sigh and stopped thinking about it... sometimes, things happen unexpectedly but for a reason.. if not today, there's always the next time :)